


Trying

by HappyKonny



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Depression?, Gen, M/M, Negative Thoughts, pairing is more implied than anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 20:19:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9200693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyKonny/pseuds/HappyKonny
Summary: At nights like these, Robbie can't help but feel miserable.





	

He felt like everything was just one big lie.  
That Sportacus liked him, cared about him, worried about him and was genuinely interested in him. That the kids loved to play with him and liked to play with him. That no one hated him and they liked his company. It all felt like a lie to him.

He knew it wasn't a lie, of course he knew that. He was reassured every time he so much as looked sad, Sportacus always comforting him and telling him again and again, that he cared, he worried, he loved him. The kids liked reassuring him as well, they always told him that they had so much fun with him playing and baking and all they did together. And that they truly forgive him for everything bad he had done and that they knew he didn't mean harm.

But he just couldn't believe it. How could anyone love him? How could anyone want to be his friend? Put up with his behavior and his unhealthy diet. He hated sports and got exhausted easily, and he was the only one like that. He didn't like fruits and vegetables, but everyone else loved them. He didn't like being outside and doing something, which the others liked. He liked silence and quiet activities, while everyone else liked doing active and loud things.

He knew they liked him. He knew they didn't mind to quiet down for him and play something that wasn't so active and not so exhausting for him. He knew they just liked seeing him happy and didn't pity him or laugh at him. He knew Sportacus really loved him and really cares, that he really only wants for Robbie to eat healthier and be more active, so that he wouldn't get sick and so that he'd live long without problems. He knew that Sportacus wasn't judging him for anything, neither were the kids.

But more than often did his mind tell him otherwise. When he was left alone to his thoughts, when he couldn't sleep at night. Then he'd wonder, if all of this was real, if any of this was really genuine. He'd tell himself that yes, yes it's real. It's genuine. But he can't help but feel like it's all just a lie.  
He feels so empty at those times. He feels like curling up in bed and never getting up again. That he'd be forgotten by everyone in a heartbeat, that no one would care if he just vanished. And he'd think that someone would care. There would always be at least one person who would care if he wasn't there anymore.

But at moments like these, late at night, everyone in town asleep and he was alone in his lair, curled up in his chair in the darkness, with only a small light illuminating the darkness. At moments like these, he felt like he was alone, uncared for, worthless and useless. That no matter what he did, that no one would waste even a thought to him. He would always try and tell himself, that he was loved and cared for. That even when someone didn't pay much attention to him in a while, they still cared.

But it was so hard. Keeping his thoughts positive seemed impossible, since so many negative thoughts outweighed the good ones. He'd try. He always tried. He always made it to the next day, he always managed to put on another smile. Even if he was plagued by doubts, he always tried.  
Maybe one day someone could help him overcome these thoughts. Outweigh the bad thoughts with many good ones. Maybe Sportacus and the kids could achieve that. He certainly hoped so.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Projecting my feelings onto Robbie  
> Except Robbie has people who care close around me, and I have only people who (hopefully?) care on the internet  
> Anyways, I hope you liked it?


End file.
